Twas near 3 on Christmas, the nerdiest hour
The Xbox was purring, still draining power.
The comics were boxed up, tucked away once read.
Society had been visited, shunned, quickly fled.
But the nerds were all up, prowling the ‘Webz.
Visions of Felicia Day, done up in reds.
But Curty’s at work now, had been for weeks.
And I at my laptop, composing poetry for geeks.
When out from the ‘Verse there arose such a noise.
I sprang into action (but with ladylike poise).
The Curtis is bored! He needs entertaining –
And here I was, nerdy, but sure not complaining.
The thought of a geek-fest, a full on nerd show –
It’s way more appealing than lame Christmas snow.
Why, think of the potential, the geekery, the fun.
Steal from every cool SciFi under the sun.
The Curtis needs nerdom, needs the whole bleeding team –
And the chance for obsessing? Makes this little nerd beam.
But, I needed a theme, a collection, a trick.
Something to make this much geekery just click.
Now… Firefly? Now… X-Men? Now Marvel from the 80s?
Now… Whedonverse? Now... X-Files? Now hot FBI ladies?
To the dark of the Batcave! To the edge of the Verse!
To the lighthouse in Britain! My nerds, do your worst!
The expanse of my geekery, success on this pinned.
But when it comes to nerds, I’m a leaf on the wind.
So off to the wilds my nerd-lusions all flew.
I might have mixed genres, perhaps just a few.
But imagine with me now, the sheer pure delight.
Of Captain Mal and Mulder… getting in a fistfight.
Think of it now, how hilarious it’d be.
Now throw in Penny, Shadowcat, Scully.
I sit at my desk, let my nerd mind go wild.
Mixing up my fandoms like a hyperactive child.
But my geek clang jumping helps Curty naught!
It’s cohesive narrative I need, allusive and fraught.
So I decide on a tale, a modern nerd epic.
(or… I could give up – but that seems kind of dick).
So it’s this far in, but now I need plot.
Curty won’t be amused by “Nerds I Find Hot.”
Though, I could keep name-dropping, just call it PoMo.
Mention Wash, mention Gambit, mention Buffy… but no!
I should describe a fat man with sartorial flair.
But then you’d picture Mojo in metal crab underwear.
Best just to end it, put it down, let it go.
(Mention Kaylee, mention Longshot, mention Angel – still no!).
So I wrap it up, bring it down, let it end.
(Even though I’ve forgotten our friends from Bag End.)
It’s here that it’s over, with these final words –
Never underestimate a very bored nerd.
(and now count up with me, how many I forgot –
No mention of Dr. Who, for which I’ll be shot.
You got little Buffy, a touch here and there.
But I did fit in Excalibur, it seemed only fair.
A surfeit of X-Files – but is there such thing?
I still cannot believe – no Lord of the Rings.
I fail at the nerddom, despite my best effort.
I’ll turn in my Dork Card, regardless of hurt.
Perhaps one more round of PoMo name fire:
There’s V and Tommy Taylor and our peeps of the Shire.
Boromir and Hagrid and Vladek, of course.
And my personal favorite, the (very) Bad Horse.
You’d add Havok and Dazzler and probably Sprite –
And off we’d go again. We’ll be here all night.)
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| Curtis makes the very best holiday themed nerd art. |
